Bisexuality and Sexual Orientation

            Most people who know me know that I am bisexual. There are many stereotypes about bisexuals that simply are not true. We are greedy, we do not actually exist, we are confused, we need to pick a side, we are not able to commit. These things are false. To say a person can only love one gender is like saying one can only love someone with blue eyes. It is not greedy to be able to fall in love and be attracted to more than one gender. If anything, it shows how much love the person can possess.

             What I hate to hear the most is that bisexuals do not exist. We are simply confused individuals who need to choose a side and stick with it. Sadly, this idea is very prevalent within the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) community. It is hurtful to know that the people who are treated as second class citizens, the brunt of bullies and social opposition, would choose to ignore, and scorn, the sexual orientation of one of their own, so to speak (that is to say someone who is not heterosexual).

              It is any wonder then, why heterosexuals do not often take the LGBT community seriously when there is so much fighting within? Since when did the community get so stuck up that only certain people who be this or that and NO ONE could be this way or that way. It sometime seems as if the only orientations welcome in the community is lesbian and gay, as Transgendered often feels the brunt of ostracism even more acutely that bisexuals. Now would challenge and say that transgender doesn’t belong because it is not a sexual preference, it is a gender identity.

             The thing about transgendered is it can (I say can, but it depends on the person) take a transgendered a long time to understand that he or she is in fact transgendered. They can often question their sexual orientation and wonder where they fit in within a world that is cisgendered and heretosexual. Lesbians, gays, and bisexuals can often feel the same volatile emotions as we figure out who we are. Quite frankly, we are a minority and as we have been the brunt of cruelty, I feel that the community should not embrace cruelty to others, no matter their gender or orientation.

             On this same score, heterosexuals need to stop the hate just as much as some LGBT need to do. Countless lives taken, countless lives destroyed, countless CHILDREN who have opts to end it rather than face another day of bullying. It needs to end and it needs to end now. Religion and politics are no reason to throw tolerance to the winds and treat people as if they were scum or less than human. If a religion teaches hate and it is all you learn from that religion, the religion and your thoughts on it need to be reevaluated. If you practice hatred of others because a politician does, then you need to reevaluate that politician and why you agree.

            You can imagine how hard it can be for some bisexuals. Many times bisexuals are not accepted in the LGBT community. Nor are bisexuals accepted in a heterosexual community. We are neither. No, we are not half gay and half straight. We are not some type of hybrid human. We are bisexual and there is nothing hybrid about it.

            Nor should we be forced to choose a side, which many bisexuals end up doing through pressure from friends, family, and community. But there is not choice. Being with a man for the rest of my life would make me no more straight that being with a woman the rest of my life would make me a lesbian. Does that mean I would cheat, lack commitment, and not be able to stay faithful should I find someone I want to be in a relationship with?

            Of course not. A person can be married and think someone is attractive and might ponder the sexual possibility but never act on it. Most (if not all) people do this already, namely with actors and actresses. It is an attraction, not an impulse and a lack of control that causes us to have sexual relations with every consenting adult we come into contact with.

           I believe the biggest problem with the LGBT community, as well as the heterosexual majority is that there is a substantial lack of education. People make assumptions and snap judgments and never seek to discover the truth. They believe what they are told and never seek to delve deeper.

We need to delve deeper and see everyone as humans with emotions and stop hating each other based on our differences. A sexual orientation (though from some I do believe it may be a preference) is not one a person can change, at least I don’t believe it is. Bisexuals cannot change for you or anyone and acceptance is easier on the soul than hatred is. We should give it a try. It’s rather peaceful on the tolerant side of the fence. Will you join me?