Gothic Soul-Mate Part II of II

Now the conclusion:

             Soon the two friends left us and we were two like souls living as one. We stayed together in that dwelling, where occult came alive and life was nothing more than a dark eroticism from my deepest fantasies, for seven years. In that time he became my teacher, my friend, my confidante, my lover, and my life. He was everything I needed to feel alive- both body and soul.

             Ours was a relationship few could comprehend. The nights of ecstasy, the hours of intellectual discourse, and the time spent learning, experimenting, and just being together. Words between us were barely needed. A touch, a kiss, a look, a motion, could say more than a hundred words ever could. Our methods of communication transcended the verbal and reached levels of such acute awareness that seems so impossible as to be hard to explain. We knew each other’s minds, just as we knew each other’s souls and bodies.

        One day, he and I awoke rather melancholy and I could not explain why. Something this day was wrong, different in a negative way I was no longer use to since becoming joined with this man. I knew he felt it most acutely as well. His cheerful personality, his light heart, and free spirit were weighed down by thoughts so turbulent, it hurt him physically.

         We decided to walk in our favorite place- the ancient looking cemetery down the lane. And so we did. While walking, I took note of his physicality as I often did. He had changed much in the time we were together. His clothes, which he still made himself, had changed. Instead of different materials and schemes thrown together hap hazardously, the patterns and materials were distinct and the embodiment of the elegant man he had become.  Gone was his rebelliousness, his brashness, replaced with understanding and wisdom. His hair had not changed over the time we had been together, still holding the random braids, the multi-colored shades of brown on black. I loved his hair dearly.

            We walked a way down the gravel path within the graveyard. Normally the sight of the old stones gave us peace, today it did nothing. We were both as sad as we had been when we awoke. If I had known how to ease his pain- I would have, but my own was so server that I felt no amount of effort would be sincere enough.  I felt like crying, though I know not why.

             After a while we came to stand by a cement bench that stood just a few feet away from the cremation section of the cemetery. He squeezed my hand and continued on alone and I knew it was something he desperately needed to do. I sat on the cemented bench and watched him as he walked through the cast iron gate the set the cremations apart from the other graves. He knelt in front of an articulately created gargoyle fountain and murmured lowly, so lowly I could only make out his brilliant baritone that always made my heart beat faster for hearing it.

             When he was finished, he stood once more, closed the cast iron gate and sat with me on the bench. Then he just held me. My heart was breaking for him- for me. But why? Suddenly, I knew why. The reason echoed clearly in my head as if spoken to me directly from the gods. He feared my leaving him. The notion was so preposterous as to be laughable. Leave him? He was my soul come to life. How could I ever do that? To leave him would be the death of me, I was sure for I myself could not handle such a tragedy.

               Yet as these thoughts pounded my head- I knew there was a nagging truth to the fear. Something was wrong with me. I was weak and did not feel right. It was unnatural. I looked deeply into his chocolate eyes, eyes that reflected his soul, his mind, his longings and I knew the truth of what was happening to us- to me. It was a knowledge that struck such fear in me that I trembled.

I knew, then, that what we had- the time together, had been nothing more than what we would call a human dream. I was dreaming. No, not dreaming. I was on a different plain of existence, somewhere not attached to my mortal body. I did not belong on this plain and could stay no longer. The life force was returning to my physical self in the world I belonged in so long as my body drew breath.

              I also knew that he had known this truth since the moment he saw me. It was the reason he had avoided me.  He knew that he and I were soul-mates, twin flames and he was not sure if he could stand parting with me when it was my time to go back my mortality. He knew I was just visiting, my stay was not permanent. Yet- he decided to be with me, despite the knowledge and had not once let it affect our relationship once he won the war within himself to finally approach me. I loved him all the more for being able to be with me despite his knowledge. I am not sure I could have been so strong. I do know, though, that was our deep love that had kept me there so long, but I could sustain the connection no longer.

         If I could have given my flesh up to stay with him- my life as a mortal would have ended right then, but it was not meant to be. I had things to do before I could truly be with him and we both knew it. He gave me a weak smile, understanding that I now knew what he had tried so diligently to protect me from. We sat there, for how long I know not. We just sat there, holding each other. No words, no impassioned kisses or caresses. Just pure intimacy in the joy of being held by the one your soul belongs with. Slowly, I felt myself weaken. I could sense my physical body. The world around me began to dim. I was fearful and insane in agony. He comforted me even as he disappeared.

          I knew the moment I reentered my body. I came fully awake, and I cried. What had been merely hours in this life, was years in the other. After my tears had dried, I immediately wrote down all I could remember, scared I would forget him. I need never have worried. The memory is just as vivid now as it was when I experienced it. This happened a little over five years ago. I think of him often, both on what was written here and what I keep only for myself to know. I miss him. I long for him. I wonder if it was a dream, if he was real and perhaps alive somewhere- in this plain or another. I have never dreamt of him again, but I cannot help but feel I will one day be reunited with him. However, until then, all I have is the short memory and the worst cruelty of all- I cannot remember his name. 

(Note: I also added a video to part one!)