A Pet's Passing

             Pets are, by some people, considered family. For many, pets are all the family some have and we love them as dearly as any person. When a pet passes away, it can be anything from a mild irritation to a loss so keenly felt that it can be hard to comprehend living without the pet.

             I, myself, have undergone such a lose. So far in my life, I have yet to feel any death (including the death of my mother when I was seventeen) as keenly as I have when my first pet died. He was a min pin named Thor and even to this day, almost 10 years later, I still have the urge to cry when I think to long on my beloved dog.

            I have had many pets since my Thor passed away. A fish, cats, and one dog, whom I still have. Though I love them all very much, my first pet was always my first love and his passing affected me greatly, as I imagine the death of a pet can effect great many people.

            As with people we love, we often times show our pain at a pet’s death in different ways. Some people respond by never wanting another pet. Others want a pet as soon as possible to either ‘replace’ the loss they now feel or in an attempt to love anew and move on. Some people want to bury their pets in cemeteries, with gravestones, etc…and others do no more than digging a whole and forgetting about it. Some want their deceased pet cremated, others want them to be remembered forever through the use of taxidermy.

            My own first pet was buried under my favorite tree, has his own gravestone and still have flowers placed on his resting place. When my current pets pass away, I will likely do the same for them. When it comes to our pets it can be either easier or more difficult to move on, but move on we must, as all things must change.

 

Weeping Willow

Oh Weeping Willow, why do you weep?

Is it for he who is now in God’s keep?

For that little boy who, in your branches would sway,

And around your large truck, would laugh and play?

Weeping Willow, don’t you cry,

I know somehow you will manage to get by,

Without his happiness, smiles, and fears,

Without his kindness, love, and tears.

Oh Weeping Willow, just remember,

All of those years he sat in splendor.

And under your shelter he would read you a book,

So that through him, your sightless eyes could look.

Weeping willow, think of his song,

And how, with your waving leaves, bid him to sing it all night long.

Rejoice when thinking of how he loved you,

And how you loved and cared for him too.

Oh Weeping Willow, you must go on!

There is always a storm before the dawn.

I know in your roots, lies a great sorrow,

But he wasn’t promised another tomorrow.

Weeping Willow, you must understand,

Sometimes God will cast a great demand.

But you will make it through,

For I have such faith in you.

Oh Weeping Willow, won’t you please stand tall?

For I wouldn’t make it, if you were to fall.

Just keep holding steady, come what may,

For he wouldn’t want you to act this way.

Weeping Willow, wipe your eyes.

And don’t give excuses and tell me lies.

For he is gone now, that will not change,

All that is left is your life to arrange.

Oh Weeping Willow, do not forget,

That I still love you, and beneath you will I always sit.

Come, let us go through this turmoil together,

Maybe then we can overcome this turbulent weather.

Weeping Willow, where is that smile that I so need,

For only then will I feel it right to plant a small seed.

That will represent life’s circle from beginning to end,

Because now, only in our hearts, live this friend.

Oh Weeping Willow, his soul is now as free as the wind!

So in this thought, let your troubled heart mend.

And have no more regrets or blame,

As you remember deceased with no regret or shame.

_Angelea Beatrice Sakai Woodham

2004

Losing A Loved One

              It is inevitable that all of us will one day lose someone we love. It may not be today, tomorrow, next week, next year…but eventually it will happen. There is so much one can say on the subject of losing someone that it can go in an immeasurable amount of directions. How to deal with losing a loved one the direction this post will take.

              Many people rely on religion, or convert to religion, in order to bare the pain of losing those who are closest to us, while others will reject religion and the terrors portrayed by the unjust god(s). Others will cling to memories and hold onto their loved one who is no longer human for as long as possible, while others will try to move on as quickly as possible.

           How people cope with the death of a person they loved is different for each person and the explanations for death are as varied as people are. Gypsies often believe, for instance, that if one grieves too much, their spirit may come back and haunt you. I always found that a rather interesting view and many cultures can have taboos of death. Some Native Americans, for instance, avoid even speaking of the deceased. In Victorian times mourning was a grand event for women, lasting at least a year in most cases and everything down to attire and social etiquette was dictated to for the grieving woman and family to remind the person constantly of their loss.

            When a person once loved has died, I prefer to find comfort in what I know, what I can see and understand. In some ways, I do believe in reincarnation, but how I believe in it is up in the air. When it comes to coping with the death of a loved one, I like the quote by Aaron Freeman, whom I will now close this post with:

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed.

You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got. And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you.

 And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever. And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.

 - Aaron Freeman

Danse Macabre

            People, young and old, dance with death every day. Danse Macabre is a French phrase that means “Dance of death.”  This dance can be an all consuming waltz that embraces death in an obsessive or steady stride. The dance can just as likely, and most probably, consist of a tango in which the living partner consistently denies the existence of the undead dancing partner.  Many people, no matter where one lives on Earth would love nothing more than to forget that death will happen that death will occur to him or her. Throughout life, people try to do whatever possible to ignore death. Humans will promote health and wellness, mitigate negative aspects of aging, try to overcome gross stereotypes and may come to accept death as death creeps closer through the different stages in life, despite whichever culture the person lives in. 
                                Promoting Health and Wellness

          On American television, a typical person will witness two million commercials by the age of 65 (Herr, 2007). There is no denying that many of these commercials revolve around health, be it through a person’s physique or through prescription drug campaigns. America is the only country aside from New Zealand that permits pharmaceutical drugs commercials on television, and yet there is no difference between the life span of Americans from other countries (ProCon, 2012). All of this is an attempt to mitigate the negative effects of aging.

                               Mitigate Negative effects of Aging

            Aging is a natural process that a majority of Americans view with dread. Not only does age come with the deterioration of the body, but also the mind too. The visible and noticeable consequences that age brings to humanity often cause a person to seek ways to lessen the damage. Eating healthier, exercising both body and mind daily, promoting healthy habits, such as not smoking, and utilizing proper hygiene lessens naturally lessen negative aging effects. Aside from natural ways to influence aging, people often buy health care products, such as skin and wrinkle creams, and have plastic surgery to retain young beauty, rather than embrace the beauty that comes from aging.   
                              Ageism and Stereotypes

       Age should be something that a person embraces and takes pride in. Instead age has become a force of evil that comes with stereotypes galore. Ageism is stereotyping others because of a person’s age. This is the idea that some stereotypes exist only because of the age of the group in question. Ageism is a generalized, and often wrong, perception on people of certain age group, most notably the older generations.

                        Grumpy Old Men and Little Old Ladies

            People unwittingly teach younger generations unhealthy stereotypes about the older generations and often resort to using language degrading to older people. Two terms that the younger call the older are “grumpy old men” and “little old ladies.” These language conations have a lasting impact on how people view old age and what one stereotypically expects from the older generation. Terminology with negative influences to describe older people give the impression that the men are grumpy, hateful, aggressive, and overly stubborn and single-minded, whereas the women are docile, sweet tempered and may be a bit addle-brained. Research proves that these ideas are irrelevant and older generations are just as diverse as the younger. Sadly, language often can become a self-fulfilling prophesy to the point that older people believe the stereotypes about their generation and often think that he or she is the exception to the age group he or she belongs to  (Bearon, 2002). 
                      Different Lifespan Viewpoints of Death and Dying

             Most mortals suffer from a fear of dying at least once in his or life, regardless of age. How one copes with the arrival of his or her eventual demise can depend largely on the age of the person and the individual’s personality. No matter what age group a person is a part of, there is no denying that a person’s view of death and dying can change through his or her lifespan development. In many ways the idea of death and dying goes from thinking that it is a part of life one typically ignores to becoming something undeniable and even preferred. Depending on which age group one belongs to may shed understanding on what he or she thinks about death.

                        The Adolescent and Early Adulthood Viewpoint

            The dance of death at this point is unsure and so no rhythm as the living partner either has no care for the undead partner or is daring the partner to take control. This is because a typical teenager or young adult may not think often about death or his or her mortality and takes risks older people would not. During this stage of life, a person can think that he or she is invincible and perhaps even immortal. Adolescent youth and young adults have an egocentric idea of death. Though the average adolescent and young adults knows that death exists, the person’s mind believe that death is not going to happen to him or her until either he or she is ready or for years to come in old age. In this stage of life a person typically does not concern oneself with matters of the future, this includes death. Often in this stage of life, of one thinks about death, the person may romanticize it rather than fear it (Berger, 2008). It is not until middle and late adulthood that a person really starts to ponder and plan for death’s appearance.

                           The Middle Adulthood Viewpoint

            Because middle adults have become familiar with death, the dance takes on a new urgency. It becomes a tango of denial and fear. The tango takes shape in such a manner because,  unlike the younger years when one ignores and romances death, middle adulthood finds a person denying death and fearing it. Gone are the romantic notions of youth and the days when ignorance and egocentrism ruled the ideas of death. Death becomes a prominent figure in the person’s life, ever in the background and taunting the person from the shadows. To cope with the new understanding of death, the middle adult may often avoid any mention or sign of death in a hope to pretend that it simply will not happen. Surprisingly it may not be death that scares the adult so, but the fear of leaving behind those he or she loves and leaving things undone. At this stage the person desires time, nothing but time (Berger, 2008). For example, Queen Elizabeth I’s last words reflect this idea. According to Thomas (2012) Queen Elizabeth I was 69 when she took her final dance with death. For some, this is still a young age. Her last words, though refuted, were “All my possession for a moment of time.” However, this view eventually chances into one of acceptance and even eagerness as a person reaches old age.

                                  Late Adulthood Viewpoint

            After trying to defeat death in the tango of denial, the older adult chances the dance. Instead of a the frantic tango, the dance smoothes and slows into the steady partnership o the waltz. At this point the living partner is comfortable with his or her counterpart and even embraces the partner as the dance continues until the final strand of music plays its eerie beat. The reason this happens is that normally when a person earns the status of old age, the person also obtains new views on death. These views tend to be favorable. Death is no longer taboo and many accept it and start to prepare for his or her eventual demise (Berger, 2008). In some cases, old individuals desire death as a means to the end of an existence that has become unbearable. 
                                 Cultural Attitudes toward Death and Dying

           Just as each person dances with death differently so to do different religious ideologies and social cultures approach death in various ways.  Religion can change a person’s perspective on death, just as a person’s culture can instill superstitions concerning death’s presence in one’s life. Some strong beliefs include the Christian attitudes, the heathen attitudes, atheistic and agnostic attitudes, in addition to deeply held superstitions that dominate Japanese culture.

                                   The Christian Attitude

            The Christians view death as a means to be with their Creator. If one did not accept the Creator that person would spend eternity in a place or torture and separation from the Creator in the afterlife. The belief in a monotheistic Creator gives purpose to those who follow this faith and can help a person accept death more easily as the person believes that he or she will live in a paradise known as heaven with an all powerful creator that loves the individual.

                               The Reincarnation Attitude

            In religions, such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and Neopaganism, thoughts and beliefs on reincarnation abound. Reincarnation is the idea that when a person dies in this life on Earth, the person will be reborn once again (Robinson, 2010). For some reincarnation followers, this cycle is continuous, for others, such as Buddhism, the cycle of rebirth is to perpetuate one’s knowledge and growth to the point one can reach Nirvana (Berger, 2008). These religions typically see more cremations than burials.

                                   The Atheist and Agnostic Attitude 

            In Greek Atheist ‘a’ means ‘without’, theist means ‘god’ and Gnostic means ‘knowledge’. Basically atheist means ‘one without god’ and agnostic means ‘one without knowledge (of god)’. Considering this ideology, many atheists do not think anything happens after death that people simply stop existing as know it to be. Many think, scientifically that as not matter is neither created or destroyed, we simply merge back into the earth and our energy is redistributed in the universe. Agnostics do not know and often times do not care to know (Rand, 2011). Though it is likely that one a religion may be more accepting of death, it can be hard to base this on a whole of all people who follow a religion. A person’s view on death largely depends on that individual in combination with age, religion, or lack thereof and cultural superstitions.

                              Fun Facts on Japanese Death Superstitions

            Japan has enduring superstitions surrounding death and dying. The most significant death superstitions in Japan surround the number four.  In Japan, four is a number that a person must avoid because the number four and the word “death” are pronounced the same way.  Likewise, if a room in a Japanese hospital’s maternity ward was room 43, it is a bad omen because it is could be ‘still-born’ (Japan Zone, 2011). Another superstition surrounds the color white. In Japan, white- not black- is the color of death and mourning. This reasoning is largely because of the sick pallor of the dead (Bobette, 2004).  One can only guess the horror a Japanese person might have when learning that brides in America typically marry in a color not of purity, but of death and sorrow. 
                                   Conclusion

            Death is thought of in many ways and that perception changes throughout a person’s lifespan, as does the different stereotypes associated with age because of ageism, which can be rather harsh when discussing older generations. Culture and religion can have a strong impact on a person’s view of death, as can the media as is proven by the number of health commercials on television and how the general populace concerns themselves with health and wellness through both natural and artificial methods.

 

References

Bearon, L. Ph. D. (2002). Little Old Ladies and Grumpy Old Men: How Language Shapes Our Views About Aging. Retrieved from: http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs492.pdf

Berger, K. S. (2008). The developing person through the life span (7th ed.). Epilogue. New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

Bobette, B. (2004). Underworld Tales: The Color of Death. Retrieved from: http://www.underworldtales.com/color.htm

Herr, N., Ph.D. (2007). The Sourcebook for Teaching Science. Television and Health: Television Statistics. Retrieved from: http://www.csun.edu/science/health/docs/tv&health.html

Japan Zone. (2011). Japanese Superstitions: Death and the Number Four. Retrieved from: http://www.japan-zone.com/omnibus/superstition.shtml

ProCon.org. (2012). Should prescription drugs be advertised directly to consumers? Retrieved by: http://prescriptiondrugs.procon.org/

Rand, D. (2011). Agnosticism and Atheism: Varieties of Unbelief. Retrieved from: http://www.atheisme.ca/repertoire/rand_david/agnost_en.htmlhttp://www.atheisme.ca/repertoire/rand_david/agnost_en.html

Robinson, B. A. (2010). Religious Tolerance: Glossary of spiritual and religious terms starting with the letter ‘R’. Reincarnation. Retrieved from: http://www.religioustolerance.org/gl_r.htm

Thomas, H. (2012). Elizabethi: Biography and Famous Quotes. Retrieved from: http://www.elizabethi.org/us/

Bella Morte

             Every day I like to think on a single phrase and why it has been spoken. Bella Morte means Beautiful death, but is death really beautiful? I once read a quote that there was nothing so heartbreakingly beautiful as the untimely death of a lovely lady. Over and over again we find this to be true in poetry, plays, music, the occult and even mental illness. We try to love and communicate with the dead in that may be unhealthy, but oftentimes poetic and up for being romanticized.  

            Necromancy is a form of divination in which people try to invoke the spirit of the deceased loved one, often for the purposes of communication. Often times this has been classified as black magic and is often the subject of interest in movies such as The Chronicles of Riddick. Throughout the ages people have sought ways, be it through séances and other means, to communicate with the dead or even try to bring them back to life. A good example of this might be found in the movie Beetlejuice, when the new family tries to bring the couple back, bodily, from the dead through a séance.

            Sometimes ones passion for the dead goes beyond wanting to see their loved one alive once more. There is a mental illness known as necrophilia in which a person becomes aroused by the dead and often give into the temptation and engages in sex with cadavers. Most of us see this as a sick perversion and I, myself, have yet been able to truly sympathize with this particular disorder. There is a movie called “Kissed” which centers around a necrophiliac that neither condemns the character or approves of her actions. However, as artfully done as the movie was, I could only get halfway through before I turned it off.

            In my opinion, necrophilia is not something that should be romanticized in any way, shape, or form. In this same token, necromancy may not be the best approach either. We have a tendency to want to make light of these subjects, romanticize them, and make death to seem glorious and beautiful, but is it? Is it really? Maybe for some it is. It certainly bares contemplation. I do not believe death should be ugly and in the end I think, if the person is at peace than there can be a certain beauty to it, but to put twists on disorders or other things which could be harmful for the living and call it beautiful might well be a folly. I leave you now with a song and a poem. Enjoy. 

The Dying Girl

(19th Century)

From a Munster vale they brought her,

From the pure and balmy air;

An Ormond peasant’s daughter,

With blue eyes and golden hair.

They brought her to the city

And she faded slowly there-

Comsumption has no pity

For blue eyes and golden hair.

When I saw her first reclining

Her lips were mov’d in prayer,

And the setting sun was shining

On her loosen’d golden hair.

When our kindly glances met her,

Deadly brilliant was her eye;

And she said that she was better,

While she knew that she must die.

She speaks of Munster valleys,

The pattern, dance, and fair,

And her thin hand feebly dallies

With her scattered golden hair.

When silently we listen’d

To her breath with quiet care,

Her eyes with wonder glisten’d,

And she asked us, “What was there?”

The poor thing smiled to as it,

And her pretty mouth laid bare,

Like gems within a casket,

A string of pearlets rare.

We said that we were trying

By the gushing of her blood

And the time she took in sighing

To know if she were good.

Well, she smil’d and chatted gaily,

Though we saw in mute despair

The hectic brighter daily

And the death-dew on her hair.

And oft her wasted fingers

Beating time upon the bed:

O’er some old tune she lingers,

And she bows her golden head.

At length the harp is broken;

And the spirit in its strings,

At the last decree is spoken,

To its source exulting springs.

Descending swiftly from the skies

Her guardian angel came,

He struck God’s lightning from her eyes,

And bore Him back the flame.

Before the sun had risen

Through the lark-loved morning air,

Her young soul left its prison,

Undefiled by sin or care.

I stood beside the couch in tears

Where pale and calm she slept,

And though I’ve gazed on death for years,

I blush not that I wept.

I check’d with effort pity’s sighs

And left the matron there,

To close the curtains of her eyes

And bind her golden hair.

Written by Richard D’Alton

Carpe Nocturne

          

        Carpe Nocturne (also spelt Carpe Noctem) is a Latin expression that means “Seize the night.” All people should seize the opportunity to love, live, grow, and be happy. When we give up the chance to seize the time we have been given, what really is the point of living? The unlived life is a fate far worse than anything man can conceive. If your life doesn’t count, if you can gain nothing of it, why exist?

           Seize the time while you can. Seize it through poetry, art, words, friendships, relationships, religion, spirituality, teaching, going on adventures, etc…simply live. Because you will die. And to die without first living while you had a chance to do so is truly sad.

           Yes, you breathe. You conduct the little mundane tasks that make up your existence, but does it bring you joy? Are you seizing the time your given? Are you making it count for something great, something beautiful? If not, I beg you to find a reason to make life beautiful, to seize it while you can and make it worthy of being lived.

           I do not speak of the phrase going around that states ‘YOLO: You Only Live Once”. Though this is a form of Carpe Diem (Seize the Day), I believe in reincarnation and therefore it surrenders the notion of only one life. However, you should seize any life you have. Live it fully, embrace it and love it.

           Now, you may wonder why I say seize the night instead of the day. Either phrase works, and both are equally beautiful terms. Personally, I love seize the night day. The day implies illumination, of clear sight and heat that can at times be overbearing.

           The night is a gentler mother to the fathering light of day. The night implies mystery, of searching for clarity, and being held in a cool embrace. I seek wisdom and I never stop. I chase the night and I seize it, exploring mysteries and seeking understanding.

          It is my fondest wish that we may embrace the dare of Carpe Nocturne. Live the life you have now to the fullest. You will never have another like it and if you find something that makes you happy and it’s not illegal (I don’t include marijuana in this as I think this should be make legal) then embrace it and find comfort and joy in what you have and in what you are doing. 

Always, always remember to:

 Carpe Noctem. 

Carpe Diem. 

Carpe Vitam. 

          I now leave you with a clip from Dead Poet’s Society, which I would encourage anyone to watch in full, along with the entire poem that was quoted in the clip!

TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME.

by Robert Herrick

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,

    Old time is still a-flying :

And this same flower that smiles to-day

    To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,

    The higher he's a-getting,

The sooner will his race be run,

    And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,

    When youth and blood are warmer ;

But being spent, the worse, and worst

    Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,

    And while ye may go marry :

For having lost but once your prime

    You may for ever tarry.

Memento Mori

                                                   “All things change and we with them.”

             Firstly, let me apologize for not posting this yesterday as I meant to. Life became suddenly hectic and I, quite frankly, forgot about posting this until about half an hour ago. It has not helped that my internet connection has been spotty at best for the past few days. I beg your forgiveness and I hope I do not get so caught up that I forget again. You all have my deepest regrets. So without further complications, here is my post on Memento Mori! 

               It is a basic human fact that all things will eventually die. Old, young, rich, poor, healthy or ill. Everything will eventually meet this fate. When I say everything I certainly do meant everything: Humans, grass, trees, fish, stars, planets, even our own universe (or multi-verse) will surrender to death. In fact, death is likely one of the very few absolute truths that I, myself, believe in.

               On a whole, humanity would like to forget our current 100% morality rate. It is easier to go on with our day-to-day and simply ignore death, and only begrudgingly greet it when death comes near to our hearts. But we must not forget. We must keep the awareness close to us always.

               One method humanity takes to remind us of this natural ordeal is through a form of artwork called “Momento Mori”. Simply translated it means “Remember your Mortality.” This form of artwork has been around for centuries, constantly reminding us of what we would wish to avoid. It consists in many forms from simple skulls and skeletons to Victorian pictures of the dead and ‘ghost pictures’ which was once popular in the Victorian era.

              Though, according to Wikipedia, it is a Christian art dating back to Roman times, there is no doubt that the art form remains prevalent even into modern day. Not only does this phrase extend to artwork, but also in movies, novels, music and video games. We all need the reminder that we will all one day parish. To forget would be folly. But to fear would be unwise, for death will happen to all and fearing the inevitable would be a waste of the time we are given. Simply remember your mortality, so that you may live while you can.

The following song is called Memento Mori by Kamelot, a power metal band. 

(Picture created by Tom Bagshaw)

Death and Moving On

This month’s theme revolves around topics of death and moving on. The following is the projected schedule for August:

2.      Memento Mori

·         A post on the fact that all things will eventually die; a look at the artwork surrounding this fact.

·         Saturday, August 4^th.

3.      Carpe Nocturne

·         Seize the night while you still can

·         Tuesday, August 7^th.

4.      Bella Morte

·         Beautiful death. Explores necromancy and necrophilia.

·         Saturday, August 11^th.

5.      Danse Macabre

·         How people Dance with dance

·         Tuesday, August 14^th

6.      Losing A Loved One

·         Explores the pain felt at losing a loved one.

·         Saturday , August 18^th.

7.      A Pet’s Passing

·         Because pets are part of our lives to.

·         Tuesday, August 21st.

8.      Letting Go

·         Letting go and moving on.

·         Saturday, August 25^st.

9.      A New Day

·         Starting over without the one you love

·         Tuesday, August 28^th.

10.  Overview

·         A recap

·         Friday, August 31st.

Oh, and Happy Lughnasadh!